Posted in Humor

Toddler studies

Recently, I wrote an article on depression. The stages of depression, how to spot if your friend is depressed, etc. The usual stuff.

But it got me thinking. After a loft of running by the metaphorical guinea pig in his running wheel , in my brain, I came up with an idea, a thought. The most depressed being on the earth must be toddlers .

To understand this idea, I might first want to extract a part from my write up :


“Notice the guy who keeps smiling, no matter what the situation ? Yes, the guy who is laughing all the time, cheerful, pleasant, cool to hang out with. Look at him closely. There might just be a hint of sadness hiding in those eyes.
The eyes, always trying to find something. Something they don’t know how to explain, something that’s missing. A spark in their life, maybe… ? or a purpose to live , perhaps …?

Have you tried to talk to him ? He might just speak for hours and you might gain a lot of general knowledge and absolutely no personal insight into this person. He has shut himself off, emotionally. He might put on weight, or loose some within a short span. He might claim to get plenty of sleep, almost 12 hours, and claim he needs it.

These are just some symptoms of depression. There might be more.
So next time you spot such a person, try to look into him, rather than at him. You might just learn a lot about him”


Now look at a toddler.

He keeps smiling, even if you try to tell him that the Iron may still be hot, or that chewing of footwear might cause him to generate excessive amounts of shit.

You may talk to him for hours on end, and the only thing you might gain is how many times he likes to eat, take a shit , hour he likes to sleep or cry for no apparent reason. He might suddenly grow in size over the period of six months, or drastically reduce weight, although there might be some footwear chewing involved which might have caused him to reduce.

Now, you might wonder what caused the depression ? Here are some possible reasons.

  1. Strangers keep staring at him for no apparent reason.
  2. Some Strangers even try to grab him.
  3. The two familiar faces that feed him, keep talking in some strange language and then expect him to say things he doesn’t understand.
  4. Some strangers poke his cheeks or pull them, and yet the familiars do nothing about the physical abuse. I don’t even want to get started on the oily feeling on my entire body, after some of these strangers are done with me. calling themselves masseur or something.
  5. When he tries out his lingo, no one seems to care what he is trying to say. All they care about is their own lingo
  6. When he tries to go to sleep, there is always something hanging above him, which might fall on him and crash him. This thing even makes sound ,sometimes. This torture has been going on since he slept on a bed in a cage..
  7. The familiars keep making shrill noises like ” oooo ” which makes him think that he is called “ooo” but later they start calling him something completely different
  8. The familiars even pick him up and expect him to go forward in such a wired and totally unstable ways. Four stable pillars is what I am good at, he may be thinking.
  9. The familiars keep feeding him something unfamiliar, which tastes completely different from what he was used to since his birth.
  10. Sometimes, the familiars talk in loud voices. He is afraid of loud voices.
  11. Sometimes one of the familiars simply disappears for ages and suddenly appears back for no apparent reason.   Even after he searches the word for him, the toddler is unable to find him.

This kind of erratic behavior pushes the toddlers into depression.

Please stop this inhuman act of torture. Don’t just like it, share it on Facebook. Even if 1 of the torturers find this valid and saves a toddler from going into depression, my purpose of writing this article would be fulfilled.

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Author:

An IT professional, a Slytherin and a brooding narcissist, who lives behind his keyboard.

One thought on “Toddler studies

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