Posted in Rumblings

The Crush…

For all these years all the guys and gals that I had met and talked with, all they have these encounters fresh in their memories… these are the encounters that they always talk about with the same amount of enthusiasm, as they would have on the day one itself! These encounters I am the ones that they would never forget, even till they leave this planet for a better place… So special and warm are these encounters … and you might be thinking what these encounters …actually are?
These encounters are nothing else but, the memories of their first crush!! (And yeah this has nothing to do with the film from 1993…)

It all started with some subject or an object or a location that one might be looking at and then out of blue, without any warning, all those memories start gushing through the mind like a flash flood, filling up all the each and every corner with emotions… to such an extent that eyes show the effect intensity to the crush’s memory!

The first sighting of the one, and you fall heads over heels for that one! The first sight, that face, that hair, that smile, and that time of the day… Some even tend to remember, the direction of the sun, the speed of the wind (that too in nautical miles)… I bet some might have even memorized the star map! And then lost in that world of fantasy… most of the times an external jolt is needed to snap back to reality…

The first time our crush is seen, the game begins to get noticed or to notice the crush. During the college days, just to get a glimpse of our crush, we get up early and get dressed and head to the bus stop, just to travel alongside with our crush. Then even when we do not have any classes during crush classes, we will sit or loiter around the campus just to get that small peek of our crush…
And if you are lucky and if the crush lives nearby, then you would find a hundred reasons just to pass by crush’s home. You would also agree to do all those chores (there would be times you would ask your mother for any chores to take care off…) that you do not like, so that you can pass by crush home and get a peek, if they are in the lobby or on the balcony or all these antics just to get noticed…

When our crush does notice us, the first “Hi” is always the difficult ones… the butterflies that we feel, the words that are there at the tip of the tongue but, it gets difficult to speak those words, the building pressure of NOT blurting out something non-sense, which might put off our crush and the mounting pressure of blowing up this only once in a lifetime chance to talk to the crush… It feels as if after this there will be no tomorrow and you will be alone for the rest of your life… thus you get that the first “Hi” which gets stamped in our memory forever…
And every time we recall it, it’s like we go through all those emotions once again, the same feeling that same magic… and sometimes the same pressure as well… no wonder…

And with the passage of time and some external efforts from our friends, we start to converse with our crush, which had been a dream about, and oh boy! Well, the first “Hi…” does feel like a long-awaited conversation though. The feeling is like, an out of the world experience… the talk, the walk together towards our homes, the wait for each other at the bus stops, the catching and reserving seats in for each other… all these things happening without uttering a single word… and the time seems to be flying with twice the speed when we are with our crush, all the feelings are magical, something that just out of a Bollywood romance movie…

But, the happiness is short lived and before you could take any of those imaginary actions, crush bounds to depart away from us… the reasons could be anything, maybe a change in the city, maybe a new job opportunity, maybe family moving away… and even marriage… how heart-wrenching!! Whatever it could be, we just stand there witnessing that our crush is moving away from us, far away, never to be seen… all that remains, are the one-sided memories and the pain of departure and things that you could have accomplished, if and only if, you two would have been together for the rest of your lives…

With pain your heart and confusion in your mind, you accept it, ALAS! A crush will always remain a crush no matter what…

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