Posted in Humor

Right side… Left side… Wrong side…

I never really understood the concept of a left hand drive and a right hand drive vehicle.
I especially don’t understand why some countries prefer to drive on the right side of the road, while the rest drive on the left side of the road. I am sure I understand why some people try to drive on the wrong side of the road, but then they might get the benefit of doubt of not knowing which side the vehicles are supposed to be driven in that particular country.

Why can’t we have a standard for such things. A global standard which says we can drive on the left/right side of the road ?

There are a lot of trucks which ply between UK and the European countries. Now these trucks drive till Dover, take a ferry to their destination country and then start driving on the other side of the road. The steering wheel is on the right side of the truck and yet these trucks themselves go from the right side. Extremely difficult to drive.

Trust me. I tried.

Within the first 10 mins, I managed to bang into two cars, a signpost, and a signal. I also managed to get a ticket for driving on the wrong side of the road.

It would have gotten much worse, I am sure, but at that precise moment, my laptop crashed.

Maybe, even it was not able to comprehend this notion.

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Posted in Humor

Why not ask ?

I was watching a program on the television recently. It was a comedy show.

The performer, stood on the stage, smiling and waving at the audience.

The very first line he said , ” I don’t know why I am here today.”.

I never understood this. If you don’t know why you are there, why not ask the organizers  when they come to invite you to do a skit ? It is not like you were surprised to be called on the stage.

Or perhaps, they suddenly have an epiphany or because self-aware of yourself, right in that divine place, of the stage facing thousands of pairs of eyes looking at you (or perhaps at your soul).

Posted in anecdote

Mall Visits…Part 2

Earlier in the month, I had published a write-up on the people we see in the mall.To read that article, click here : Mall visits… Part 1

These are the people who inspire us to go to the mall. These are the people who spark my quest to observe human behaviour from various countries around the world.

Before we proceed to the anecdote, I want to make it clear that some Canadian Popstar singing”let’s go to the mall….. tonight”, does not really appeal to me. Only the fact that “Robin” is supper awesome, made me watch that song. Anyway…

The unsatisfied wife: 

We were still in the queue for a pizza, when a man of about 30 years of age came and established himself in front of the queue. A group of teenagers was already waiting there, browsing the menu and discussing what to order.I would like to point out, that unlike some other groups, these boys were exceptionally well behaved and were not causing much of a ruckus that is typical of a group of teenagers.

So this guy, ignores the queue and stands next to one of the boys. He makes a hand-motion where he formed a cone by bringing together all his fingers and pointing then upwards. The typical motion I associate with an Italian and an Arab, to get a point across.  He said something which I  think meant that he needed the boy to move away a bit.

The boy obliged.

Then this guy turns back to a woman and pointing to the empty space on the ground  suggested that she should stand here to give an order. I imagined she was his wife.

The wife obliged.

She glanced briefly up to the menu displayed on the top display. 10 seconds later she nodded her head in disapproval. There was a look of intense fury on the guy’s face, but he did not say a word.

The moved on to the next eatery.

This activity continued for a further 20 mins, by which time, they had managed to cover Pizza hut, McDonalds, Subway, KFC, Red Dragon, Nandos and a few other places, covering almost every cuisine usually offered in a mall.

By this time, I had ordered the pizza and the pizza was ready to eat, so could not follow their progress, but it was evident :

It is indeed difficult to understand what women want.

Posted in anecdote

Mall visits… Part 1

Visiting a mall is extremely entertaining. There are thousands of people around, which means there are a thousand different opportunities to observe human behavior and quirks.

In one such visit recently, I came across once such incident. Now, I am not very good at any language other than English and my native, but actions speak louder than words. So all this is my take on the events.

The testy Father:

There was a big family, 5 kids, their Dad and their mothers- who had come for shopping and were now hungry.

The dad was ordering a pizza for the entire family. He stood in the queue, waiting for his turn. His son, looked about 10 year old, came and stood next to him. He check if his father was paying attention to him. He was safe. His father was busy selecting which pizza would be best. He looked around. There was a hugh pile of pizza delivery  boxes, neatly staked, on the counter. He pushed them. the tower of boxes did not come down, but the deed was noticed by the Dad. He got irritated and asked the kid to stop doing that. Dad went back to contemplating how he can feed his litter. The moment the dad looked away, the child, with a sheepish smile, touched the boxes again twice, just to show his defiance. Dad noticed that and now ordered him to go sit with the rest of the family. The kid, touched the pile, one last time and ran to him mother.

Now, by the time this happened, Dad has reached the front of the queue and placing an order. The sales assistant was trying to communicate in gestures and English (which is not native here), that it was Tuesday and he gets a free pizza with every pizza he orders, but dad was having a hard time to understand that. In all this commotion, his other son, who looked 15 year old, came and asked him for some money to eat the pancakes from the next stall.

The Dad give him a look that would have melted the Himalayas faster than the global warming. The Boy was unperturbed. The dad, shaking his head, put his had into his pocket and game him a tenner. By now he looked very irritated. He must be thinking:

Here I am, trying to buy these guys a pizza, where this red Tshirt guy is trying to tell be that I can order less because he is happy to give a free pizza, God knows why. My son is asking money to by pancakes when he is going to have pizza in a few minutes. He will say that he doesn’t want a pizza now because he is not hungry now. And to think only yesterday he demanded that he wanted to eat Pizza tomorrow, no matter what. My other kid is trying to cause me embarrassment by causing havoc when he manages to topple the tower of boxes, the baby keeps crying and the two girls keep roaming around like they own the place.  God help me !

Posted in Humor

Viruses, Viruses everywhere

It is that time of the year when your throat starts to pain a bit, your activities and movement speed slow down, the nose becomes itchy and you start feeling as if you are Shiva, the Hindu God which brought a river into the world to take care of a drought, from his head. Although in this case, you will be bringing a river into this world via your nose.

Go to a doctor, and he will say; ” It is a viral infection. You will be alright in a few days.”

I think the doctors will term anything as “viral” if they don’t yet know what caused the infection.

Now I am an IT guy. What I don’t understand is, why people don’t believe us when we say that the reason their computer slowed down is because of a virus. Isn’t it basically the same thing happening to a computer ?