Posted in Humor

The thinking Man…

There are still a large number of people using old and slow HDD instead the fast SSDs.

What this means is, the boot time for the windows is so slow, that the person, with a very serious expression on his face is thinking :

” Hm. My windows is still loading.

Has it gone into a hung state ?

Should I do a restart ?

Why am I waiting so long for this ?

Should I switch to SSD ?

Do I have a virus ?

What did I open last night to get a virus?

What time did I sleep last night ? or did I even sleep ?

What is the purpose of my life ? ”

And that is why we should transfer to SSDs. Else we are going to have a lot of spiritual leaders and philosophers who spend too much time thinking on the meaning of live and a few more deep thoughts while all the installed applications boot.

Disclaimer : I use a MAC with SSD. I will no longer be a philosopher. 

Posted in Humor

Movies and Population control

Watch some melodramatic movies.

I think such movies are made just to control the population.

The ways to commit suicide are given is such detail, that it is as if, these buggers are helping to curb the world population by having weak minded people slit their hands in an attempt to cut the vein and have an unsuccessful attempt at dying.

It probably just makes them feel more useless, as the attempt goes unsuccessful and then they feel more depressed. When will they realise that sleeping on a railway track is the best possible option ?

Well, the movies are atleast doing something to curb the human population explosion…

Posted in Humor

Right side… Left side… Wrong side…

I never really understood the concept of a left hand drive and a right hand drive vehicle.
I especially don’t understand why some countries prefer to drive on the right side of the road, while the rest drive on the left side of the road. I am sure I understand why some people try to drive on the wrong side of the road, but then they might get the benefit of doubt of not knowing which side the vehicles are supposed to be driven in that particular country.

Why can’t we have a standard for such things. A global standard which says we can drive on the left/right side of the road ?

There are a lot of trucks which ply between UK and the European countries. Now these trucks drive till Dover, take a ferry to their destination country and then start driving on the other side of the road. The steering wheel is on the right side of the truck and yet these trucks themselves go from the right side. Extremely difficult to drive.

Trust me. I tried.

Within the first 10 mins, I managed to bang into two cars, a signpost, and a signal. I also managed to get a ticket for driving on the wrong side of the road.

It would have gotten much worse, I am sure, but at that precise moment, my laptop crashed.

Maybe, even it was not able to comprehend this notion.

Posted in Humor

Stupid Announcements

airplane

 

Have you ever travelled by an Airplane ? If not you should try it before reading further, because – *spoiler alert*

Whenever I travel, the first thing I do is check-in the luggage. Here, one of the crew members will point out my flight number and seat number, circling it so that I would not miss it – * Oh, how helpful. If only my school had spoon fed me with such information, by now I would have been a successful garbage disposal executive*

Next, comes emigration, where they will ask where you are going, just to make sure you know that where ever you are supposed to go is properly engraved in your mind. Or perhaps the kind souls just want to ask – ” Really ? are you sure ? ”

Then the awkward walk around the airport, looking for a lounge compatible with your credit card offer – *Just pay for it you cheap bastard*.

Then the “Magic voice ” telling all the passengers of a certain flight number to walk to a certain gate number with an alphabet – * 10A for example. Perhaps they were afraid they would run out of numbers and added alphabets to the numbers*

Then there would be queue at the gate where your ticket would be checked.

Then a smaller lounge, where you will wait till all the passengers will get to have their tickets examined.

Next, you get to get your ticket examined again by a gatekeeper before going to the flight gate and getting your ticket examined again, only this time you get a “welcome” from a beautiful young lady.

Now, after some time, the flight takes off and the “put your seat belt on” sign disappears.

The captain announces ” This is your captain speaking. you are now travelling to …. place and we are cruising over 35000 feet.”

This always makes me wonder. Why does the captain announce the destination and altitude ? We know where we are going. You made sure at-least four times so that  no one would say, “Oh shit, I am on the wrong flight, please land this. I want to get off “. Is that why you announce the altitude ? so that you can simply say , ” Sorry mate. We are too high up now. It will take you approximately 20 mins to go ‘splash’ if you jump out now.”

I simply don’t care.