Posted in Life

Someone better…

Over so many years, I had been in Love with so many girls, but there were only a few to whom I was able to confess the feeling of Love… As it goes…

As I vividly remember, it were my college days (higher secondary school in India for the 11th and 12th grades), there was this girl on whom I had crush from the very first day of the college. She was pretty and charming and had a really beautiful smile. A smile that would melt anyone’s heart away. And above all that she had a very bubbly nature, and a added bonus, she was very friendly as well. I was head over heels for her and wished and dreamed to spend the rest of my life with…

Another year passed and we were in the Second year of the sciences, she had become the part of our group and a really good friend of mine. We shared a lot of things, those long chats, our family issues.  As for our group it, consisted of two girls, her and another one from our class and three boys, including me and two of my other friends from the same branch… We were a group of smart and happy go lucky, our grades were great, even when everyone thought that we never studied, we had built a very reputable rapport with out faculties as well as our senpai’s… All was nice and dandy.. Then one day (it took a lot of planning and thinking for this day) I decided to go and express my feelings to her and win her over…

The day chosen was the last day of the college exams, the last paper, I had finally decided to go out and express all my feelings to her… Which I had bottled them up for more than a year now… and filled with little anxiety, I was expecting a positive result, since we have been in the same group and known each other for more than a year now…

The bell rang! The time of the test was upon me, the paper was over, I rushed out of the class hurriedly submitting my answer sheet to the supervisor… After searching for her at our regular spot (katta), I was a little disappointed not finding her, feeling bad was about to head back home, I saw her standing at the corner of the college sports ground.. A new hope and I literally rushed towards her! As if someone might steal her away before I did… haha!!

There I was standing in front of her, huffing and puffing, trying to catch my breath… looking into her eyes, and she staring into mine with confusion and amazement… I took a pause, looked at her, she was all confused, and in an instant blurted out all those emotions I have been bottling up for last year…

Her reaction was not what I had expected! She took a step back, looked at me and with a long pause and low voice, she replied…
“You will find someone better than me, I am not good for you…” I was standing there in amazement, confusion, heart ache and what not, thinking… what could be wrong? What does that even mean? Is she even real? Or is there something off with me? Or just maybe that I was dreaming? Trying to scream or yell at her… I tried to explain it to her and requested for an answer of if there was anything with me… Nothing was unearthed that day… With a heavy heart and full of sad emotions, I bid adieu to her, never to see and meet her ever again…

Well, it took about a year to get over that incident and I tried my luck with another girl, and to my surprise she used those same words, “You will find someone better, I am not good for you..” The flash back came in from my college days! I was again amazed and a little petrified though. This was the second time, thought that I might just be a coincidence…

But, then it happened the third and fourth time, all in a span of less than 7 years! I am really not sure if this is the real trend or is there something really wrong with me. As all the females I met, it seemed that they enjoyed my company, but when it came to long term commitment, they all have backed down with those same words, “Someone better than them…”

I am even not sure what those words really mean? But, since then I have not been able to express any feelings to any other girl ever. All of those beautiful ones, always will remain as a crush for the rest of my life… All this pretty much hurts, make me think what do all these women really want then? Or is it just that I need to focus more on myself rather?

The question is still pretty much unanswered though. Has anyone been through this before? Let me know in the comments…

Posted in Life, Short Story


“Hi there, do you remember me from the class of 85 ?”, she asked the  guy behind her in the queue for name tags, a broad smile on her face.

She was in her late 40s now,  hardly any resemblance to her 16 year old self. But then, that  was true with most of the people gathered in the hall.

It was their 30 year school reunion.

They took the name tags, only first names with their pen names in quotes, pasting them on their chest starting to mingle with the crowds. It was good to see some of them, hard to recognize some of them and very difficult to remember, that some of these people were actually ever in the same class as them.

It is common, to have very few people from your school to be still in touch, but it seemed that they had forgotten a lot of their own classmates.

Eventually, they ended up sitting at the same table.

“Do you remember how you used to throw colour pencils at me?”, she asked him.

“Of course I do. You used to be very good at art and craft, I was just helping you out”, he answered with a sheepish smile on his face.

His hair was grey now, she noticed,  but he still had that mischievous sparkle in his eyes that he had even when they were kids. It seemed time was not able to touch that aspect of him.

“Well, I did help you out once or twice. When the teacher was not looking, remember ?”, she asked.

“Well, drawing a mustache on the face of queen Victoria from our history books, does not count as helping out”, he remarked.” It cost me a week’s worth of detention . My parents were furious. Dad thrashed me like anything that day. And this was all because of a girl ! That thought kept me awake. I had to take my revenge”, he said while filling up her glass with water,a grin on his face. ” Well, I don’t think that revenge should have included me sitting in the library for a month as detention, for allegedly throwing a chalk at the teacher while she had her back turned to the class. I did not even have a good aim, and I used to sit next to the captain of the cricket team, famous for his accurate aim at throwing the ball onto the stumps from great distances. I wish they would have made that connection”, she said, responding to his grin with a smile .

“Well, I definitely was very good at cricket back then. I loved to spend time on the field.  Joining the national Cricket team was my live goal back then, but life had other plans it seemed”, he said. Looking down at his bulging stomach. He missed playing cricket .

“You know, that was the day, I developed a small crush on you”, he confessed.”To be honest, I had a crush on you from that day as well. Maybe a teenage crush for a rebel, but a crush all the same.”, she admitted.” I wished I had proposed that day, but I was too scared and proud for it”, he confessed. ” When I was in the library, I spent most of the time day dreaming about how I could have spent time with the team captain”, she said and blushed. I was a long time since he had seen her blush. He missed it so much.

The conversation went on for hours, they did not notice that the other people on their table had a completely different conversation going on between them. It was as if they were immersed in their own world, they had traveled in the past, re-living their school days.

Now, the party was coming to an end, it was time to bid a goodbye to the batch of 85. The host called for an attention from everyone. Lightly banging the champagne glass with a spoon, he announced,”Ladies and Gentleman, fellow classmates, it has been 30 years since most of us saw each other. During this time, we have changed, we have grown, we now have separate lives which we share with loved ones. Some of us are still good friends, but some of us were less remembered by us. Some are just a memory and some, a missed call”

“However, most of us here still remember our “Head-boy” and “Head-girl” , who were always loved by all, during their school days. A strong example of how strong love is. Please welcome, Mrs and Mr… ”

She touched his shoulder and said,”Honey, I think they want us to go on that stage and give a speech. Think you can manage it ?”. “Sure”, he said” Just help me with the wheelchair.I see they have a ramp , just push me onto the stage, will you ?”. “You should have  a lot of practice by now darling. After all, it has been  31 years since the accident. ”

They started going towards the stage, accompanied by a thunderous applaud . The high school sweethearts remained so, even after being married for 28 years.