Posted in Humor

The thinking Man…

There are still a large number of people using old and slow HDD instead the fast SSDs.

What this means is, the boot time for the windows is so slow, that the person, with a very serious expression on his face is thinking :

” Hm. My windows is still loading.

Has it gone into a hung state ?

Should I do a restart ?

Why am I waiting so long for this ?

Should I switch to SSD ?

Do I have a virus ?

What did I open last night to get a virus?

What time did I sleep last night ? or did I even sleep ?

What is the purpose of my life ? ”

And that is why we should transfer to SSDs. Else we are going to have a lot of spiritual leaders and philosophers who spend too much time thinking on the meaning of live and a few more deep thoughts while all the installed applications boot.

Disclaimer : I use a MAC with SSD. I will no longer be a philosopher. 

Advertisements
Posted in Fiction, Humor

Oh God why, Doc ?

There once was a place called Eden,

And in the placed lived the first two humans,

One was made of dust, Adam, he was called,

The other was made from part of God’s body,

She was a helpmate to Adam, Eve was her name.

Adam and Eve toiled the land and lived on heaven on earth,

till the time God placed a tree and and forbade Adam and Eve to eat the fruit,

But alas, the serpent tricked them and they ate the fruit and lo and behold, they were banished from heaven to suffer,

As they had caused an original sin. 

And yet when I say this to my doctor, He says, you should have an apple each day.

Stupid Bugger. That is why I may not be able to reach heaven.

 

 

Posted in anecdote, Life

Power of a suit

suits

A few days ago, I suddenly realized that I am mortal, so my body needs regular medical checkups. This meant that I needed to visit a hospital and undergo a few tests.

Incidentally, I had a meeting later in the day, so I was all suited up.

I stood in the queue for registering myself for a blood test and an Xray,when I noticed that most of the guys were wearing Tshirts and Jeans. I was envious. There they were, in comfortable clothing standing patiently in a queue whereas I was there in a suite, sweating a bit and feeling hot( and not in a good way).

There were a few security guards, guiding people to their respective test centers while supervising the queues. They kept checking the medical forms we had filled up. It took them about a minute to go through each individual form thoroughly. But when my turn came, he just glanced at it for 10 seconds and said “Thank you ,Sir.” I was sure he did not say “Thank you”, or “Sir” to any of the other members in the queue. I simply dismissed it at the time, attributing it to the fact that I may have appeared more learned and hence, the Sir.

I went into the clinic for my blood test. Saw the needle. Cracked the usual joke about how I feared needles. The doctor laughed, I laughed, he took the sample and we were done in 5 minutes. I got up and waited again for the queue for Xray. Now I noticed. The doctor did not speak as much to the next guy.

Now came the Xray, and the same thing happened. Then I realized something. People were staring at me. more specifically at my suit. ( They were staring 8 inches below my eyes, but since I am a man, I assumed they looked at the clothes rather than body parts).

It seemed that people were respecting the suite rather than me as a person.

Lesson learnt. Now, anytime I need something to be done, I will wear a suite.

Harvey Specter was correct.

Posted in Life, Short Story

Reunion

“Hi there, do you remember me from the class of 85 ?”, she asked the  guy behind her in the queue for name tags, a broad smile on her face.

She was in her late 40s now,  hardly any resemblance to her 16 year old self. But then, that  was true with most of the people gathered in the hall.

It was their 30 year school reunion.

They took the name tags, only first names with their pen names in quotes, pasting them on their chest starting to mingle with the crowds. It was good to see some of them, hard to recognize some of them and very difficult to remember, that some of these people were actually ever in the same class as them.

It is common, to have very few people from your school to be still in touch, but it seemed that they had forgotten a lot of their own classmates.

Eventually, they ended up sitting at the same table.

“Do you remember how you used to throw colour pencils at me?”, she asked him.

“Of course I do. You used to be very good at art and craft, I was just helping you out”, he answered with a sheepish smile on his face.

His hair was grey now, she noticed,  but he still had that mischievous sparkle in his eyes that he had even when they were kids. It seemed time was not able to touch that aspect of him.

“Well, I did help you out once or twice. When the teacher was not looking, remember ?”, she asked.

“Well, drawing a mustache on the face of queen Victoria from our history books, does not count as helping out”, he remarked.” It cost me a week’s worth of detention . My parents were furious. Dad thrashed me like anything that day. And this was all because of a girl ! That thought kept me awake. I had to take my revenge”, he said while filling up her glass with water,a grin on his face. ” Well, I don’t think that revenge should have included me sitting in the library for a month as detention, for allegedly throwing a chalk at the teacher while she had her back turned to the class. I did not even have a good aim, and I used to sit next to the captain of the cricket team, famous for his accurate aim at throwing the ball onto the stumps from great distances. I wish they would have made that connection”, she said, responding to his grin with a smile .

“Well, I definitely was very good at cricket back then. I loved to spend time on the field.  Joining the national Cricket team was my live goal back then, but life had other plans it seemed”, he said. Looking down at his bulging stomach. He missed playing cricket .

“You know, that was the day, I developed a small crush on you”, he confessed.”To be honest, I had a crush on you from that day as well. Maybe a teenage crush for a rebel, but a crush all the same.”, she admitted.” I wished I had proposed that day, but I was too scared and proud for it”, he confessed. ” When I was in the library, I spent most of the time day dreaming about how I could have spent time with the team captain”, she said and blushed. I was a long time since he had seen her blush. He missed it so much.

The conversation went on for hours, they did not notice that the other people on their table had a completely different conversation going on between them. It was as if they were immersed in their own world, they had traveled in the past, re-living their school days.

Now, the party was coming to an end, it was time to bid a goodbye to the batch of 85. The host called for an attention from everyone. Lightly banging the champagne glass with a spoon, he announced,”Ladies and Gentleman, fellow classmates, it has been 30 years since most of us saw each other. During this time, we have changed, we have grown, we now have separate lives which we share with loved ones. Some of us are still good friends, but some of us were less remembered by us. Some are just a memory and some, a missed call”

“However, most of us here still remember our “Head-boy” and “Head-girl” , who were always loved by all, during their school days. A strong example of how strong love is. Please welcome, Mrs and Mr… ”

She touched his shoulder and said,”Honey, I think they want us to go on that stage and give a speech. Think you can manage it ?”. “Sure”, he said” Just help me with the wheelchair.I see they have a ramp , just push me onto the stage, will you ?”. “You should have  a lot of practice by now darling. After all, it has been  31 years since the accident. ”

They started going towards the stage, accompanied by a thunderous applaud . The high school sweethearts remained so, even after being married for 28 years.

Posted in Article, Life

Thanks World !

Facebook, in all its wisdom, informs me that today is the day I complete one year as a blogger.

I did not realize that it already is a year since I though of started putting my quirky thoughts to words. More importantly, I am surprised to see that I was able to last this long, given that I have the attention span of a monkey.

I would like to thanks all my readers, who “liked” my posts and encouraged me to pen more entertaining and useful material. This is the main reason I was able to go on for this long.

I would also like to thanks a few people who were generous enough to donate money after reading my write-ups.

I would also like to thank my Mom, Dad, friends, colleges, office internet and the guy who keeps looking over my shoulder, just to see me struggle to get the typo right.

 

Thanks all.

Shalom, Namaste, Pip pip …