Posted in Humor

Right side… Left side… Wrong side…

I never really understood the concept of a left hand drive and a right hand drive vehicle.
I especially don’t understand why some countries prefer to drive on the right side of the road, while the rest drive on the left side of the road. I am sure I understand why some people try to drive on the wrong side of the road, but then they might get the benefit of doubt of not knowing which side the vehicles are supposed to be driven in that particular country.

Why can’t we have a standard for such things. A global standard which says we can drive on the left/right side of the road ?

There are a lot of trucks which ply between UK and the European countries. Now these trucks drive till Dover, take a ferry to their destination country and then start driving on the other side of the road. The steering wheel is on the right side of the truck and yet these trucks themselves go from the right side. Extremely difficult to drive.

Trust me. I tried.

Within the first 10 mins, I managed to bang into two cars, a signpost, and a signal. I also managed to get a ticket for driving on the wrong side of the road.

It would have gotten much worse, I am sure, but at that precise moment, my laptop crashed.

Maybe, even it was not able to comprehend this notion.

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Posted in Humor

Why not ask ?

I was watching a program on the television recently. It was a comedy show.

The performer, stood on the stage, smiling and waving at the audience.

The very first line he said , ” I don’t know why I am here today.”.

I never understood this. If you don’t know why you are there, why not ask the organizers  when they come to invite you to do a skit ? It is not like you were surprised to be called on the stage.

Or perhaps, they suddenly have an epiphany or because self-aware of yourself, right in that divine place, of the stage facing thousands of pairs of eyes looking at you (or perhaps at your soul).

Posted in Humor

Viruses, Viruses everywhere

It is that time of the year when your throat starts to pain a bit, your activities and movement speed slow down, the nose becomes itchy and you start feeling as if you are Shiva, the Hindu God which brought a river into the world to take care of a drought, from his head. Although in this case, you will be bringing a river into this world via your nose.

Go to a doctor, and he will say; ” It is a viral infection. You will be alright in a few days.”

I think the doctors will term anything as “viral” if they don’t yet know what caused the infection.

Now I am an IT guy. What I don’t understand is, why people don’t believe us when we say that the reason their computer slowed down is because of a virus. Isn’t it basically the same thing happening to a computer ?

Posted in Humor

Women and their Purses

Have you noticed how expensive the purses are getting ?

I saw a price tag of $ 13,000 for a woman’s purse.

I so pity the husband, who has to buy this purse for his wife. Maybe he got a heart surgery free with the purse. Buy one, get the other free.

He might think, ” You know, judging by the mails that I keep getting, I could have bought a Russian bride for half the price. And she would not eventually leave me for the divorce lawyer.”

Speaking of Russian bride market, don’t you think that PETA should be happy that human skin is cheaper than animal skin ?

Posted in Humor

Tick tick…

A formerly depressed friend of mine once said to me,

“you known, back in the day when i was feeling depressed, I always thought of giving up on life. But then, one day I got a good suggestion from someone. She told me to listen to the ticking of the clock. The ticking used to calm me down.”

I always wondered what would have happened to him if the battery had ran out…

Anyway, I am not sure this method applies to everyone. For instance, ticking of a clock is not healthy for someone who is in a profession like “Bomb disposal”.