Turn on the heat

Covid 19. This has trained so many new Celebrity Chefs.

Thanks to YouTube and it’s new cooking shows, there are so many new amateur Chefs that if you take an average, there must be at-least 2.5 chefs per house hold. The .5 accounts for that guy who accidentally sets things on fire because he was watching those Youtube Videos, while cooking rather than just before he started the process.

I always find that it is so funny that every show starts with, or contains this process . : Turn your gas on.

Duh. How am i supposed to shallow fry an onion if I don’t turn the heat on ?

Anyway, I did manage to cook something and the reviews I had are 100% positive. Admittedly, those that ate it, consisted of the wife and me, but end of the day, the statistics say that the reviews are 100% positive, and that is all that matters. It is not my fault that the reviewers are limited. I Blame it all on COVID-19.

Stay safe.

Fat Kids

One in Seven Children does not have enough food to lead a healthy and active life

I keep hearing this advertisement, every time I open You Tube. And this was followed by a plea for me to donate money to help this kids.

Well, I am pretty sure these unhealthy and obese kids, who keep visiting fast food joints which leads to them being this “One in Seven children”, feel very special. After-all they are the one in Seven now.

And, why would I sponsor this unhealthy lifestyle ? I am sure their parents are sponsoring it off their own accord.

Whats that now ? The add was about hungry people , poor people ?

Ah, well, thats a shame.

Perhaps those obese kids can lend some hand in here. It might solve two problems at once. The fat kids will be a bit more health and the hungry kids will have more to eat.

But again, on second thought, if those fat kids give the junk food to those hungry kids, it is not really making any positive impact on their health. On the contrary, we now have more people eating junk food.

.

.

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Thus, this theory of mine is an absolute junk.

Scrap that. I am donating some healthy food to that one kid and to that hungry kid. Even if it means, the parents start chasing me and give me looks of incredulity.

Germophobia

COVID -19, a word which has become household, now. In a day, it is uttered at least once, in every house.

The COVID -19 Situation, across the globe, is like milk to a person who is lactose intolerant. Unless you drink it, the chances of diarrhoea are minimal. Although, unlike diarrhoea, this is transmittable. And, There will always be an idiot who insists on drinking it and degrade the air quality around him.

This fear of transmission, has perhaps made me paranoid. I am sure I am not the only one who has suddenly found himself/herself to be a germophobe.

I went for grocery shopping after almost 3 weeks inside. I have been cut off from the world from all physical contact in these 3 weeks.

The feeling was horrifying.

I have started seeing germs everywhere. Well, not literally. But I see them as I see the air. I feel it.

Everywhere I go , anything i touch, i think it is full of germs. I touch a plastic container, and i have the urge of washing my hands. I touch the milk bottle, and i use a wet tissue to clean the hands. I used so much sanitiser that my hands got dry by the time I came home.

But the nightmare did not stop just yet. As soon as i came home, I took a shower using Dettol. I changed the cloths and felt that finally i was clean.

Then the though struck me . Now, I need to arrange the groceries. The same groceries that I was un willing to touch.

Oh the Horror.

A similar predicament was faced by one of my wife’s friends. She got around this, by washing everything in Dettol. Green leafy Vegies, pulses, nuts, everything. But, I think that will be too extreme.

All in All, I can now relate with the good Detective, MONK, immortalised by Tony Shalhoub,

For now, I am stying put.

Stay Alone, Stay Safe.

The Art of Speech

It is such a wonder, that among all the creatures in the world, man developed a complex way of communication which goes beyond gestures and grunts.

The sounds that come out of our mouths are framed into words and words have an assigned meaning. This type of communication is unique to humans.

Words, however, can also cause havoc if used incorrectly.

The other day, my wife and I were watching a RomCom. The characters appealed to my wife a lot and she just thought of the days we spent before marriage. How we missed a few things before marriage and how those actions could have made the entire event, more romantic.

She had a very nice suggestion though.

She wanted to say, that we get married again.

Instead, the words that came out were, “ We should go for a second marriage”.

My heart skipped a beat, before i realised what she actually meant.

We had a very nice laugh when i explained what those words she uttered, actually meant.

Language could be very tricky albeit funny, if used improperly.

I am back…

Yes. I am back.

One of the many things for which the COVID-19 is responsible for, is that the “(hope)-to-be” writers like me, want to spend some time expressing my thoughts.

And “forget” to shave.

And work from home in shorts and Ts.

And attempt cooking.

And can get up late.

And as soon as I get up, sit in front of the laptop and start working.

Yes… I can get used to it, but the thought itself is scary (not because of the acute shortage of toilet paper). It has been almost a month now, where we, the IT people, are working from home. I am sure this will not be healthy in the long run.

I wish this lockdown would end, sooner rather than later.

 

Stay indoors, stay safe.

 

Charavak, Millennials’ way of life

In a quest to seek knowledge, I come across a variety of books from multiple different genres.

In pursuit of the same quest, I know I should be pragmatic, which means I need to keep my mind open for all schools of thought.

Recently, I started studying the Charavak Philosophy, ancient school of Indian materialism. The Charvaka epistemology states that whenever one infers a truth from a set of observations or truths, one must acknowledge doubt; inferred knowledge is conditional.

This school of thought actually appealed to my intellect.It just meant that now my mind and my intellect can be on the same page for once.

I believe, the practicality of all the things will also give way to a simpler lifestyle, though it might also take a toll on the emotional aspect of life. For eg. If you have a 6-year-old, asking how he gets a gift or a cash gift every time he keeps his tooth for the tooth fairy, it is better to lie to him out of love, rather than explain the dynamics of how economy works or how his father/mother replaces the tooth in the middle of the night.  Maybe, that is a practical thing to do, but it is still driven by emotion.

I know of how the practical approach to life fails, but I also know of how it succeeds in life. In Hindu literature, it is brilliantly explained with the notion – Ram Rajya. Named after the famous, godly king of India in 3400 BC, a kingdom, wrought in Chaos and corruption was morphed into a beautiful and law-abiding place almost similar to the concept of Eden. The citizens were very strict in following the laws which were laid down by the great Lord Ram.

Yet, the practical way of life was flawed, as the emotions came second to practicality. Over the centuries, there grew a discontent and that became the downfall of this once great philosophy.

Does it mean that the philosophy itself is wrong ? perhaps not. Each person has his own thought process. Hence the individuality of humanity comes into picture.

Now a days, due to social media, it seems like the next generation would rather “google” the answers and accept the first result (or the most convenient one)  than actually  think on whatever task they had at hand. In such a scenario, wouldn’t it make sense that we have the Charavak Philosophy integrated into the lifestyle ?

The only word which the millenniums seem to have integrated is materialism.  They think a fancy mobile, expensive clothes and fast cars is the ultimate aim of life. Hence, they spend truck loads of money on items, just to post it on social media, and then go into an endless pursuit of checking how many people “like” it. Have we become so needy ? If we are, when will we start liking our inner self ? When will we get in touch with our inner self ?

Right side… Left side… Wrong side…

I never really understood the concept of a left hand drive and a right hand drive vehicle.
I especially don’t understand why some countries prefer to drive on the right side of the road, while the rest drive on the left side of the road. I am sure I understand why some people try to drive on the wrong side of the road, but then they might get the benefit of doubt of not knowing which side the vehicles are supposed to be driven in that particular country.

Why can’t we have a standard for such things. A global standard which says we can drive on the left/right side of the road ?

There are a lot of trucks which ply between UK and the European countries. Now these trucks drive till Dover, take a ferry to their destination country and then start driving on the other side of the road. The steering wheel is on the right side of the truck and yet these trucks themselves go from the right side. Extremely difficult to drive.

Trust me. I tried.

Within the first 10 mins, I managed to bang into two cars, a signpost, and a signal. I also managed to get a ticket for driving on the wrong side of the road.

It would have gotten much worse, I am sure, but at that precise moment, my laptop crashed.

Maybe, even it was not able to comprehend this notion.

Why not ask ?

I was watching a program on the television recently. It was a comedy show.

The performer, stood on the stage, smiling and waving at the audience.

The very first line he said , ” I don’t know why I am here today.”.

I never understood this. If you don’t know why you are there, why not ask the organizers  when they come to invite you to do a skit ? It is not like you were surprised to be called on the stage.

Or perhaps, they suddenly have an epiphany or because self-aware of yourself, right in that divine place, of the stage facing thousands of pairs of eyes looking at you (or perhaps at your soul).

Spoils of …

The family was eating their dinner together.

It was a custom that all family members eat food together. But the dad kept looking at the empty seat in front of him. The usual clatter during their diners and lunches was absent. His wife and daughter were eating the food in silence, sobbing silently.

He kept going back to the day of the riots, the day his son was arrested. Just 15 years of age, he was there in the midst of it all, throwing stones at the cops. Someone had told him that people from other religion were torturing people from his cast, which had sparked a fire in his young belly. – A fire which should have been used for society betterment was now being used to nurture hatred.

The father cursed himself for allowing this to happen.After all, it was his task to protect his children from such negative elements of the society. It didn’t occur, nor did it matter to him, that he spent more than 14 hours per day away from his house, working hard to put food on the table. It was, he thought, his duty to shield his kids.

He slowly put the morsel of food down. Prayed silently to God, for forgiveness and left the table.

Although the son was arrested, the family died that day.

All falsely, in the name of religion.

The Experience…

It always makes me wonder, how when one shares something, could it be, person, thing, emotion or an event for that matter. Something that makes you feel special.
Its funny, how it makes you vulnerable? How it exposes you to someone, who might take advantage of it? How it turns out to be a sore experience altogether, all because someone used that small piece of information just to put you down!

It brings us to the second point, then with this bitter experience we come to an understanding. Why, people wear masks, and these masks are different for different people…
Its one for the work, one for the family and one for someone who is special to them…

You get to know the importance of wearing masks, it makes you wonder why you don’t have to be the same you for everyone else.
Why you need to be reserved for all the others out there, and how you need be you, with the ones who understand you…

These small bitter experiences, thus elevate the importance of wearing masks and finding happiness, just for oneself, by being a tiny bit more selfish… and nothing else…

Knock knock…

Is it just me ? or does everyone stand in front of the glass doors , hoping that it will open automatically?

I visited a client recently and he had a set of doors placed consecutively in a passageway.

Both of them were made of glass obviously. When I approached the innermost door, it opened automatically, so then I proceeded to the next one.

Imagine my surprise when the door did not open. It took me a whole of 2 minutes to realize that I had to push the door.The embarrassment was compounded by the fact that a cute lady was looking at me, bemused by my predicament.

All I could do was to give her a sheepish grin, pull the door a few times and then push it, even though the words”PUSH” were written in capital and bold letters.

Technology makes us lazy and ignorant.

Mall Visits…Part 2

Earlier in the month, I had published a write-up on the people we see in the mall.To read that article, click here : Mall visits… Part 1

These are the people who inspire us to go to the mall. These are the people who spark my quest to observe human behaviour from various countries around the world.

Before we proceed to the anecdote, I want to make it clear that some Canadian Popstar singing”let’s go to the mall….. tonight”, does not really appeal to me. Only the fact that “Robin” is supper awesome, made me watch that song. Anyway…

The unsatisfied wife: 

We were still in the queue for a pizza, when a man of about 30 years of age came and established himself in front of the queue. A group of teenagers was already waiting there, browsing the menu and discussing what to order.I would like to point out, that unlike some other groups, these boys were exceptionally well behaved and were not causing much of a ruckus that is typical of a group of teenagers.

So this guy, ignores the queue and stands next to one of the boys. He makes a hand-motion where he formed a cone by bringing together all his fingers and pointing then upwards. The typical motion I associate with an Italian and an Arab, to get a point across.  He said something which I  think meant that he needed the boy to move away a bit.

The boy obliged.

Then this guy turns back to a woman and pointing to the empty space on the ground  suggested that she should stand here to give an order. I imagined she was his wife.

The wife obliged.

She glanced briefly up to the menu displayed on the top display. 10 seconds later she nodded her head in disapproval. There was a look of intense fury on the guy’s face, but he did not say a word.

The moved on to the next eatery.

This activity continued for a further 20 mins, by which time, they had managed to cover Pizza hut, McDonalds, Subway, KFC, Red Dragon, Nandos and a few other places, covering almost every cuisine usually offered in a mall.

By this time, I had ordered the pizza and the pizza was ready to eat, so could not follow their progress, but it was evident :

It is indeed difficult to understand what women want.

A Dollar’s worth.

There was once a father, Who had three sons.

On his deathbed, the father gave his sons $100 and asked them to buy something which will fill up the entire room.

The first son bought some wool, but he was only able to fill a part of the room.The second, bought hay, but he still fell short of the objective. Finally, the third son spent 1$ and bought a candle. he lit the candle and the room was filled with light.

We all know this story. But what we don’t know is the next part.

The father was impressed by his son’s innovative thinking. Now the first brother stood-up and said, “this is all good. But what happened to the 99$ that were left ? ” But by then, the father was dead.

The third son grew up and became a  politician.

#corruption-at-its-best.

Women and their Purses

Have you noticed how expensive the purses are getting ?

I saw a price tag of $ 13,000 for a woman’s purse.

I so pity the husband, who has to buy this purse for his wife. Maybe he got a heart surgery free with the purse. Buy one, get the other free.

He might think, ” You know, judging by the mails that I keep getting, I could have bought a Russian bride for half the price. And she would not eventually leave me for the divorce lawyer.”

Speaking of Russian bride market, don’t you think that PETA should be happy that human skin is cheaper than animal skin ?

Announcement

Greetings readers,

It brings me immense pleasure to announce that balletofwords.com is now hosted on blue host.

Finally, the control freak in me will get the kind of control I am looking for.

I hope that this path will lead to some wonderful new experiences.

 

I would like to thank all those patrons who were kind enough to donate, like my posts and spread the good word.

Pied Piper out.

Shalom, Namaste, Pip Pip..

 

Tick tick…

A formerly depressed friend of mine once said to me,

“you known, back in the day when i was feeling depressed, I always thought of giving up on life. But then, one day I got a good suggestion from someone. She told me to listen to the ticking of the clock. The ticking used to calm me down.”

I always wondered what would have happened to him if the battery had ran out…

Anyway, I am not sure this method applies to everyone. For instance, ticking of a clock is not healthy for someone who is in a profession like “Bomb disposal”.

 

Attention seekers

Look at the teens today.

 

They will do anything to attract attention to themselves. Makeup, dress up in weird clothing( mostly like ladies of negotiable virtue [for girls]or pants that reach only up to the thighs and are held up by sheer magic [for boys]), changes to the natural body, etc

I blame it on the celebrities, whose names I will not mention now.

Why go to all the trouble to gain attention. If you want attention in a public place,

Just fart.

The louder and smellier, the better.

At least you will eat something, rather than starve to look skinny.

Writer’s block and cockroaches

I have been suffering from a writer’s block for some time now. Which means, I don’t have any topics to write an article.

I had heard that most writers get a writer’s block and get inspired by seemly random events. This type of inspired writing wins them awards.

So when I entered my bathroom and saw three identical but small cockroaches, the first thing that popes in my mind was,

” I should start killing these cockroaches before they become a menace”

And… then some thoughts about how the three brothers ran from a giant monster who chased them, all the while narrowly escaping the projectiles that were thrown at them.

But then, it would have been a kids’ short story and definitely wouldn’t fetch me any awards.

 

P.S

In case you are wondering, I did not manage to kill any of them. Now going out to by some “Hit cockroach spray”.

 

Home , away from Home

So, I just came back to Doha. This is not my first visit, of course, which gave me a new insight into the term “homesickness”.

The funny thing about my home sickness, is that it can’t even decide my actual home.

I keep missing being away from India, till the time I am in India.

I keep missing India when I am away from India.

Such a Dilemma … which is my home ? India or Qatar ?