Does anyone know an Alchemist ?

First of all, my name is neither Santiago nor am I a shepherd; though I do read a lot of books,use some as a pillow and  I do have a lot of dreams which involve me and a treasure, in the same room. But I still need an alchemist.

Perhaps I should explain why.

Recently, high amount of lead content was detected in a very well known brand of noodles .

Now, this did give rise to a lot of satirical whatsapp messages which fill those empty minutes when you try to sleep, late at night, but you just can’t because there still are 150 new whatsapp messages that need to be read before sleeping.

Eventually this died down a bit ,when the high court banned the product from markets. Of course this gave rise to new “findings of lead”. Apparently, there is lead in Lipsticks, crackers, pencils(obviously), paint, toothpaste, water and whatnot. (not really , but I have a tendency to exaggerate) .

If there is so much lead around, we should definitely have an alchemist, so that I can turn all those noodles, pencils, lipsticks which are lying around , to gold. I would be rich in now time.

Hence the question, Does anybody know the whereabouts of the Alchemist ? If you find him, tell him that I have plenty of lead lying around my place.

P.S. Please don’t share this recipe for churning out gold with anyone, I will share some of this gold with you. I swear on the noodles   I mean lead.

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